While it’s advised to always perform a safe sexual intercourse—using condoms—it is still not followed as much as it should be. Condoms prevent spread of infections and diseases that are transmitted sexually, and also bring down the chances of facing an unwanted pregnancy. However, the word ‘condom’ still elicits a pinch of shame and discomfort when it comes to asking for it over the counter at a pharmacy or while having a normal conversation with your peers. Many tend to look around to ensure they haven’t been snapped at by the older generation to be safely in the good books. This discomfort and taboo still prevails in 2021.
In a country of over 1.38 billion people and counting, awareness of safe sex methods and its necessities lacks behind whereas the mere notion of sex not being so pleasurable for the men, with a condom on, takes the lead. As per National Health Profile 2018 and the National Family Health Survey (2015-16), and an article published in a leading daily, nearly 95% of married couples do not use condoms. In fact, United Nations also published a report in 2019 stating that by 2027, India will surpass China to become world’s most populous country. The national distaste towards condoms is only burgeoning with growing population as a parallel, despite having easy access, affordability, and multiple options to choose from.
Here’s debunking a few myths and notions associated with condoms and lubricants—a tool for pleasurable sex, but yet frowned upon:
Biggest Fears Relating To Safe Sex
The most common myth is that condoms reduce sexual pleasure. Joy Chatterjee, GM, Sales and Marketing, Mankind Pharma, says, “This myth is unsafe. Safe sex can be equally and very enjoyable. One should avoid having sexual intercourse without a condom as the purpose is not just to avoid unwanted pregnancies, but also protect you from STIs and STDs.” He further adds that ‘no variety of condoms’ comes a close second to the first myth that discourages people from using it. “Just because a particular condom didn’t suit you, doesn’t mean you can never use them again. There are non-latex versions available for people who are allergic to latex. Different sizes aren’t just used for boasting—they ensure correct fit and fewer chances of a slips during intercourse,” he adds.
How To Negate The Notion?
Pre-conceived notions about pleasurable sex when it comes to condoms can ruin the whole experience of intimacy and intercourse. It could be at a much higher risk than combating STIs and STDs as this idea is embedded deep in the subconscious mind of a person. Endorsing and normalising usage and discussions of condoms, and safe sex should be encouraged to get people centred towards a progressive thought that not only helps people individually but as a country on the whole.
Chatterjee believes social media campaigns and PR activities are the fastest and efficient ways to educate the audience, as they are the fastest medium to advertise and aggregate news today. “We urge people to not create a a sticky situation by having unprotected intercourse, instead play it safe and use protection. Our recent #DontMessAround campaign for Manforce Condoms was intended to deliver the same messaging.” He adds that offering more variants and types of condoms can encourage people to indulge in safe sex. “Condoms come in various textures and flavours which can be used during intercourse and give you equal pleasure. Flavours like chocolate, black grapes, pink, butterscotch, pineapple, green apple, orange, coffee, strawberry, achari make environment sensuous,” he adds pressing on the fact that it targets the olfactory senses that contribute to the mood and the act itself, “Dotted, ribbed, and multiple texture helps in enhancing stamina and pleasure. With so much available today, one must really have a positive mindset to use condoms.”
Lubrication And Pleasure
When it comes to pleasurable sex, lubrication also comes close. Although it’s considered as a ‘sex toy’ or as an extra prop by many, that is actually not the case. Lubes make your sexual experience easier, smoother and more enjoyable. Dryness during intercourse can make even a memorable experience painful. It could lead to physical scars and can also tar you mentally. The hesitation towards using products that only enhance your sexual experience stems from societal expectations and pre-set notions of how it should be.
“Women have been told time and again—in society, porn, relationships—to prioritise other people’s pleasure (while theirs is completely ignored), and that needs to change. Female pleasure needs to be normalised. It is healthy, and its high time we considered sexual health and sexual pleasure as a part of overall health,” says Sachee Malhotra, founder of That Sassy Thing, a digital-first sexual and menstrual wellness brand for women.
Malhotra also believes our sex education system lacks where it needs to be more forthcoming and open. “We are not taught that sex is not just for procreation but for pleasure too, and that lube is a tool that enhances pleasure. We need to educate women about how a lube is great not just for vaginal dryness but also to enhance pleasure and make sex (partnered or solo) more fun, and that it is absolutely normal and healthy to want pleasure in the first place.”
Why Is Lube Important?
For a smooth and pleasurable sexual experience, your body naturally lubricates so as to make the intercourse less painful and more easy-going. Some people who either experience vaginal dryness or tend to lubricate less often than required, can feel pain and discomfort. That’s where vaginal lubricants come into play. “From a woman’s standpoint, many a time, we face vaginal dryness and that’s totally normal. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you need some extra wetness. A lube could help give you that and have a smoother sexual experience. It may make sex more comfortable for people too,” says Malhotra, “Also, you don’t just have to experience vaginal dryness in order to use a lube, the wetness can help in enhancing sensation and making the experience more pleasurable. The way our bodies function, sometimes when we want it, and are not wet enough, a lube helps in getting wetter and the added wetness can help getting more aroused.”
Use The Right Lube
You need to know your body before using any external product especially when your genitals are involved—they are more sensitive and prone to quick infections. So, look for products that are ideal in their pH levels and do not throw you into an itching fest. “Using the right lube MUST be a part of overall health and hygiene. Using one that is pH balanced and has vagina-friendly ingredients is one way to ensure that you are not using products that disrupt your vaginal pH levels, and avoid itches, rashes, UTIs and yeast infections,” adds Malhotra.
Tips & Types
Malhotra lists down some tips and types when it comes to choosing a lube that works best for you.
“There are many kinds of lubes—water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, etc. The one you choose depends on your need. For instance, a water-based lube is something that feels more natural and real as its texture feels closest to the body’s natural lubrication. It can be used in your sex practice—both solo and/or partnered. It reduces friction and is compatible with condoms. It also lowers the chances of condom breakage, thereby making the experience safe,” advises Malhotra. “Water-based lubes go well with sex toys and can be used for masturbation too. They are also less messy as compared to oil-based lubes, leaving lesser residue on your sheets and skin. They can be easily washed off too.”
While selecting a lubricant, ensure you glance at the ingredients mentioned at the back of the product. “Some ingredients like propylene glycol and glycerin are not vagina-friendly. They can affect the vaginal pH levels, and possibly lead to irritation, itches, rashes and infections,” suggests Malhotra and advises to go for plant-based lubricants instead since they are free of parabens and petrochemicals plus they are also kind to your body. “Try avoiding lubes that have a lot of sugar in them (some flavoured lubes have artificial sugars) that may again hamper your pH balance, and may pose a risk of UTIs or other infections. For usage with condoms and toys, get a lube that is latex, rubber and plastic-friendly,” she says.
Safe sex and pleasurable sex can go hand-in-hand, and in fact, that is the ideal way to approach it. Unwanted pregnancies, STIs, and STDs can just be theoretical than a personal experiences if safe practices are followed. So, did you myths get debunked today or are there still some doubts that need to be cleared? Remember, safe and pleasure are siblings that go together!